Frustration Level N

Posted this on Facebook this morning: <<I think Frustration Level 7 is actually the most dangerous. That’s like the end of it all, you know? If I get to Level 10, it’s all just hopeless and I give up completely. Levels 8 and 9 move towards that level but there are still vestiges of hope remaining. But Level 7 is that pivot point — all the rage and irritation become almost blinding in their intensity.>>

And that got me thinking: This is a FANTASTIC CONCEPT for an album. The songs are literally called “Frustration Level 1” and so on, all the way up to 10. Level 1 is just a beautiful ballad about how nice everything is and the world is a wonderful place. The one frustrating thing is that I can’t smile at everyone in the whole world and life is finite, you know?

And the songs build in intensity, moving through a wide range of emotions and getting heavier and heavier. (I’ve still got to work that all out.) Song #7, as I intimated, is really really heavy metal hard rock take no prisoners let’s eff some stuff up. Death metal, is that still a thing?

And then #8 starts to break apart. Still heavy heavy metal but much more suffering and sadness. And #9 is surprising mid-scale, moving into misery but without quite so much anger. And #10 … #10s purpose is to break everyone’s heart. It is the mewling whimper of someone who is just 100% giving up. It’s not a suicide song, just simple surrender and a cessation of hope. And that’s the last track.

Except, of course, for Hidden Track #11.

Song #10 ends, but the track itself continues in silence for much too much time. Maybe more than a minute. Maybe there will be a few spaced out super soft sounds that may or may not be sobs. At least a minute of this. People will be turning off their CDs or digital albums or whatever they have these days.

Those who don’t, though, those who are still there will suddenly see the number change to 11, and if you thought #7 was hardcore, the ten seconds of Track #11 will melt your head.

NEXT DAY EDIT — I am too old to be the band’s frontman/singer, but then I realized … this isn’t an actual album. Well, maybe it will become an album afterwards, but here’s the thing …

It’s a comic book, a graphic novel! A musical concert with incredible artwork and lines of poetry being sung. Plenty of mood lighting and angles/shadows, etc. Font choices! Costume changes! The plot line of the album working itself out on a stage of varying intensities.

And in the audience, three separate storylines — each without words — plays out in the interactions among people. I haven’t written that part out yet, but distinct storylines that have emotional weight.

It’s all right there, in my head.

Ask Your Kids

This is less a book and more something to market. It’s a book that has the same questions to ask your kids every year on their birthday (or some other date you attach significance to). Maybe 20 questions, from the very basic (what’s your favorite color, and why?) to higher-order questions (what do you regret most about the last year? What do you want to always remember from this last year?) Also have space to include the special photos, a drawing, and something the child has written. Start with age 1 and go all the way to 100, so the book could ideally follow a person throughout their lifetime.

A two-page spread per year, some artistic presentation, maybe inspirational quotes. Maybe a snap pocket on the front and back inside covers to keep small heirlooms.

It could sell.

A Hell of a Team

All right then.

Two aging Language Arts teachers … poets … readers … gamers … philosophers … friends.

Both burned out from a series of failed and failing relationships … both fathers of dynamic, independent children … both incredibly “nice guys” who genuinely care about others (and about each other).

These two unlikely heroes … facing the forces of darkness using all their wit, wisdom, and something else that starts with W.

No one believes them. No one understands them. Then again, no one IS them.

The forces of darkness, friend … the forces of darkness …

The Forces. Of. Darkness

Had better watch the fuck out. They are about to get a hell of a surprise.

Ok, brother, there’s the setup. Do me a favor and write a series of novels, would you? Maybe thank me in the afterword? That’d be cool.